Knowing your kid's mind at her each step
In this article, I am explaining 9 problems faced by your kid at different stages of his childhood life and their solutions.
Age group 3-5 years
What a child feels in his mind:
Mother told me, school is very good and I will get lot of friends to play. If so, why did teacher scold me when I talked to Visak. Why did she pinch me when I didn't colour my painting? Why did she shout at me saying, 'go to your seat' when I went out of the class to look whether Arun has arrived or not? When I touched Brinda's bag, she pushed me and I fell down. Why is it so? I don't want to go to school.
What parents should do:
Even a small problem can make your kid upset. At home, he gets love of parents. When he is going to school first, he misses them a lot. Also, teacher's harsh words, other kids' behaviour or even loss of a small pencil can prompt a KG student to take a decision not to go to school. Such problems may be very simple. But small kids can't tolerate even small discomforts. So, never neglect his simple problems. Instead enquire his class teacher about the truth. By doing this, not only you are finding solutions to his problems, but also becoming a good friend of your child. This will prompt your child to communicate more with his parents in future. Also, at the first day of his school life itself, you should tell him that even though you get toys and friends at school, you should behave in a better way and keep quiet in the class. Otherwise teacher will punish you. By doing so, your kid will learn to adjust with rules and regulations of the school.
What teacher should do:
Teacher should be able to find the reasons why a student refuses to go to school. She should check whether any other kid is teasing him or does he find difficulties in mingling with others. Also, she should never take stick or utter harsh words to teach kids discipline. Instead, if she handles them with love and care they will obey her words.
Age group 5-8 years
What a child feels in his mind:
All are saying I am a bad kid. Mother says, I won't keep quiet and do a lot of mischief at home. Teacher is saying, I am careless in her classes. Everyday morning I wake up taking a decision in mind that I will be a good boy today. But.....Yesterday father canned me because I lost my new instrument box and pencil set. I broke a flower vase also due to carelessness. For that mother scolded me. Rakhi and Vandhana don't get such experiences from home, me only. Why so?
What parents should do:
Do you call your child mischief several times a day? Does your kid can't concentrate on any activity more than 10 minutes? While studying, is he interested more in moving his hands and body parts? Is he breaking things carelessly while walking? Does he forget his study materials at school? If you are getting such complaints from his school too, then you can assume that it may be due to hyper activity. If so, it is better to consult a trained person. You can also go to children guidance centres where you will get instructions to deal with such kids.
What teacher should do:
Hyper activity kids can't concentrate more. So, you should teach them in simple words. Also, they should carry forward the instructions given from guidance centres.
What a child feels in his mind:
I feel sleepy when teacher starts her lecture. At home, mother always compel me to study. Yesterday I was allowed to sleep only at midnight. I repeated same lessons more than 10-15 times. Even then I forget everything in front of the teacher. How are others able to answer questions? Do they know any magic?
What parents should do:
Instead of complaining that your kid is not studying, try to find the reasons, why he is not able to prepare well. It is more important to grasp what he reads rather than spending more time before books. Check whether he is following good studying methods. Some kids may read slow, commit spelling mistakes, misses lines, writing letters and symbols interchanged, grammar mistakes etc may be occurring due to some defects of the kid. If so, he needs special care and practices to overcome such defects.
What teacher should do:
Teacher should note whether each of her students are able to grasp knowledge according to their age. If she finds that a particular child has some learning defect, she can introduce him to special training centres. Such kids can also be given fundamentals for English and Mathematics. Pictorial representations may help them to learn better. If you feel that his IQ is low, you can suggest his parents to conduct an IQ test.
What a child feels in his mind:
Anand and Navya can write faster. Is my pencil slow? I can't get the name of all planets. Is it happened so, because I studied it after quarrelling with my mother for not showing Cartoon network? I don't think I will get full marks. Mother has told me, if I don't get full marks, she will make me sleep along with Tommy in his kennel. What can I do? I feel tension.
What parents should do:
Over anxiety may lead to underperformance of your kid in exams. It may often occur due to genetic traits. Allow him to enjoy his studies during exams. It will really help your kid to perform better in his exams.
What teacher should do:
Don't be too strict in classes and give severe punishments. If you feel that your student has some form of anxiety, give him some more time to learn. Also never forget to appreciate him if he improves. It will really encourage the student to learn more and perform well in next examination. You can also give such students model exams. It will really help such kids to improve better.
What a child feels in his mind:
All are playing in ground. But I love just watching them. When teacher calls me to play, I feel shy. In our next function, I should sing. Teacher has taught me the song. But I think, I will fall in the stage due to tension.
What parents should do:
Try to create an atmosphere for your kids to make them easily mingle with others. If either father or mother has this character, their kid may also show such features. They never come forward for doing activities. If compelled they may feel tension, loss of appetite, dizziness etc. If it occurs suddenly, then it is easy to find reasons. If so, give good support to your child. The feeling that he is not alone can help him to attain more self confidence. Also, try to appreciate your kid for his talents.
What teacher should do:
An extra effort is needed for bringing such kids forward. Arranging his seat in front bench, assigning some tasks to him etc can help him a lot. Never allow such kids to stay alone away from his friends. If his family atmosphere is not good, make him feel comfort in his school classes. If he feels that teacher is caring him, it can improve his character very much.
Age group 8-10 years
What a child feels in his mind:
I take a 100 rupee note from my father's purse today also without his knowledge. Actually, he never counts his money. Actually, a 100 rupee note is just a treat for my friends, not costs much. My friends also love me very much and consider me as their leader since I am spending money for them. I know it is a sin. But I can't keep myself away from that bad habit.
What parents should do:
Never handle your money or ornaments carelessly. Always lock them in drawers. If you find your kid stealing money, try to make him understand calmly that it is a bad habit. Also make him admit that he has done a mistake. If it is not handled wisely, a kid may repeat this act and also, he begins to think that it is the best way to live without doing any work which may prompt him to steal more precious things in future. If he repeats it again, then consult a psychiatrist.
What teacher should do:
If you see a student spends so much money, inform his parents. Also check whether he cuts classes and loiter around.
What a child feels in his mind:
I don't like that uncle. I feel discomfort whenever he touches me. He often kisses me when I am alone. How can I tell this to my parents?
What parents should do:
If you find your kid becoming suddenly quiet, lonely and upset, never leave him alone. Instead try to find its reasons becoming his best friend. Never leave your kid alone with your relatives or allow him to sleep with them. It is the duty of mother to assure that her kid is not sexually abused.
What teacher should do:
Always encourage students to stay in batches whenever they go out. Also, assure that some recognized person should accompany kids in private school buses. If you can arrange the service of a counselor at school itself then it will help the kids to tell about such experiences without pressure.
Age group 10-14 years
What a child feels in his mind:
Varun told me that he will show me a good computer game. He asked me to see it alone. I never expect like this. I feel guilty. How can I look at my family members' faces? But yesterday he gave me another one. My friends also say, it is better than the one given before. What should I do?
What parents should do:
Never place computer or television in your kid's room. Instead place it in open hall. We can child lock television channels. Also, computer programs are available to block unwanted sites. You can download them directly from net. If you see such CDs in your child's hand or shelf never burst out. Instead, ask him gently, from where do you get it and ask him not to repeat it. Also, make him know its seriousness. If you find that he got it from his classmates, inform his class teacher.
What teacher should do:
Sex education classes should be given at school itself. Counselors or doctors may be made available for this at school itself.
What a child feels in his mind:
I have no freedom at home. I don't have the permission to go to a friend's home or neighbour's. Even if I do something right, everyone says why can't you make it a little more good, you are a grown-up now. If friends come to my home, mother will always at our back as if we are doing some criminal offense. Can I exchange my parents with some another one?
What parents should do:
Parents should be the best friends of their children. Then only, they love to express and share their mental feelings with you. If you find faults in your kid, don't blame him. Instead guide him in the right way soberly. Never say badly about your kids to others in front of them, even if those persons are very close. They will feel insult. You should teach friendship boundaries. Also make them aware about their body.
What teacher should do:
Teacher should pay attention towards kid's behaviour. If he doesn't concentrate in classes or do home works correctly, just ask him and try to find its reasons. An unknown call from a mobile to quarrel among family members can be a cause of his absent mind. Sometimes, he may feel free to reveal it to his teacher than his parents.
Here I am reaching to a conclusion that most of your kids' problem can be solved through proper communication. Even if most kids are smart, they sometimes feel difficulty to express many of his problems before his parents or teacher. If you are able to understand a kid better and are willing to give him a little time, love and warmth of caring, many of his problems can be solved in the child stage itself. Hoping this article will help both parents and teachers a lot. If you want to know about different stages of your kid's mental growth, you can go through my articleWhen child mind grows
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