How to make friendship with new neighbours?
Just 4 days before I have shifted to a new residence. It will take a few days to set with new environment and new neighbours. Good social relationship means to keep good relationship with every one near and give them less disturbances as much as possible. So, I need to make a new set of relationships. It’s just a two- way help between two families, giving something that we possess and taking something else in return.
When you shift to a new place most annoying and disturbing thoughts are, “Can I find good neighbours there? Will they provide me a helping hand? What else can I expect from them? Will they gossip and say bad things about our family? Is it a peaceful atmosphere or does a quarrelling family stays near?” It’s true we can’t expect everything from our neighbours. Sometimes we may receive more than we give and expect. Very often, just opposite. Irrespective of that factor, most important thing is that we should maintain a friendly and healthy relationship with neighbours.
A small note on a few things that happened on the second and third day of my shift
As it is a new place and it takes a little time to arrange a new bus driver for my kid, I have to pick her from school now, every evening. On the first day as I was busy with my new task of arranging things in new home, I got a little bit late. I rushed to bus stop and my mind was filled with tension. Without waiting, I called an auto. On the way to return, he asked me where am I staying as I am a new face in that junction. When I told him about my new home, surprisingly, he said, “I am staying just opposite your home”. Suddenly I recognized that he is my new neighbour. As he appeared as a gentleman, I talked friendly with him, asking about his family and mobile number. Without hesitation he gave me his cell number and asked if we have arranged milk and newspaper. When I said no, he said he will arrange them both for our family. He asked which newspaper do we read and what else publications needed. Usually auto drivers are rude and harsh. Perhaps my friendly talk prompted him to give me a helping hand. So, a good relationship was developed.
Next day morning, when we opened the front door, newspaper and new set of magazines for my kid were there at doorstep. After a few moments, a girl came there asking if we need milk. So, that helping neighbour did those favours for us. We became acquainted with two families. As it’s a rural area and private path ends there, only a few homes in the surroundings. Yesterday two neighbours talked to me and thus a few more people added to the circle. Slowly it will increase for sure.
But the most pleasing factor is that no one is interested to know what happens in neighbour’s kitchen. So, we can comfortably do what we like to do inside our home as we please. Not only me, every family who shifts to a new place desire such a neighbourhood, though desire for helping people around.
How can we get new relations in a new place?
Only a smiling face and soft talk can help you to attain friends and it’s applicable in social relations too. If we become too reserved, we may not receive help or expect a smiling face in return. But we need their help too. Though we need not know much about our neighbours, we should learn at least their faces. If we are living in flats isolated from others, a murder or robbery that has occurred in the nearby flat will be known to us only through newspaper. We should never behave this way with our neighbours. We should strictly avoid personal matters from strangers, yet inform them about the members of our family, job profile and the office where they are working. Slowly such relations can build to good relations where we never hesitate to ask a help.
Never ask personal matters of your neighbours if you want to keep relations alive
Most relations become worse when you try to know more about their personal matters or express your opinion about them. We can’t assure that they like our opinion. Why should we invite their dislikes without any reason? Let them live their own life and take decisions as they like. Then only your neighbours will keep good relationship with you. Otherwise such relation strings rapture suddenly. Also, never peep through windows to know who are visiting your neighbour’s home. If they feel that you are watching them, only a few people will like it. It’s really annoying to intervene in their personal matters too much. Everyone has his own privacy and make sure that you are not peeping into his privacy through a back door.
Always forward a helping hand
You can expect help from others only if you are willing to help them in a bad situation. Such helps can bind relations more tight and fast. For example, if your neighbour becomes ill suddenly, help to take him the nearby hospital as early as possible or do any first aid if you can do. You can even inform their close relatives and comfort the family. If they don’t own a car, give your own. You can’t imagine when such helps can return as double to you.
Visit your neighbour’s home
When you shift to a new place, it’s better to visit your neighbour’s home as a family. If your family has 4 members, just visit nearby homes. By this way, you can develop friendship easily. Sometimes, your neighbour’s family may also give you a surprise visit.
Never wait for your neighbour
Some people think, “let them visit or talk to me first”. Never think so. We can’t expect it from everyone. We can also start a new relation without waiting the other person. Some people may be reserved. So, never wait for other person to build a new relation.
Ask only small helps first
Never disturb your neighbours too much. Ask small helps only. Gradually, when your relationship develops you can ask big helps for sure.
Friendly gatherings
Small gatherings can give manure to a healthy relationship. Yet, try at your level best not to hurt anyone’s feelings. It may be just a joke, but all persons may not react to it in the same way as you expect. Through such gatherings, your kids will get new friends to play in evenings and holidays.
Strictly avoid personal matters
Keep minimum words during first and second meetings. Try to learn their nature first. All people are not the same. Avoid personal matters as much as possible. You can’t assure they won’t harm you later. Always keep in mind that only a few people will be happy with your success and most of them are waiting for your fall. Some people may behave friendly to you first. Their aim may be to gain knowledge of your personal matters. Keep your mouth shut. They may appear as if they are sad with your failures and in a moment’s weakness you may reveal everything, what needed and what not! Always remember those words can’t be taken back. Before recognizing the person’s hidden intensions, never make him a close friend.
Never quarrel with your neighbours
Just give importance to your personal matters and never intervene in their matters. If so, such relationships will remain green forever and you can avoid unnecessary quarrels too. But always keep your self respect and never feel that you are below your neighbour. If so, a day may come when your neighbour begins to rule you and intervene in every personal matter of yours. Also, never say bad about one neighbour to another neighbour. It may lead to troubles in future.
So, everything is in your hands and it will mould in the way as you fold. So, fold and mould it in right direction and pressure so that you will get the title, “They are good people and good neighbours too!” And a last word – never believe your neighbours or depend on them too much.
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