It is often tossed around as if it were a million dollar question, when in reality, it is just a matter of simple common sense and application -- I mean, the idea of developing trust.

Trust is a very basic human quality, which can be developed.  However, there are several ground rules in which this has to be developed, as also nurtured as a basic human trait, that one can obviously see and experience in any human being.

The first ground rule is to be absolutely honest in whatever we tell or do to others.  For instance, if we can really help another person, with money when he or she needs it badly, we can give it readily if it is available with us.  Or, if we are very sure of mobilizing it within, say, one week, we can promise the same to our friend.  However, if after one week, we cut a sorry figure and ask him or her to excuse us  for not being able to arrange the money, we are sure to have broken the trust, lock, stock and barrel.  This is a very harmful experience for the person, and he or she would never ever forgive us for the same, for any length of time.  

Of course, if he or she is a nice person, with a kind heart, we would be excused but the hurt will remain.  It is also possible that he or she will stop relating to us in the same way, as they would have done, before the event. 

Secondly, it is extremely important that we do not have any weakness like drinking, smoking, or having relationships with more women and so on.  These weaknesses, which are basically bad habits, can easily put off any person or family, or even our own family members, including our parents.  They would never trust us, for, they would start wondering how we would behave in particular circumstances, for example, when we are under influence of alcohol.

Thirdly, if we were to make a lasting impression and appear as a reliable person, we should have good relationships with everyone, including those who are in positions of power.  They would respect us for what is commonly called as position power.  For example, those who do good social work, and are easily seen as very honest and reliable in social work, get many admirers.  These relationships often involve very powerful people, who would easily take our word, and do some help or the other.

For instance, in the matter of jobs, such social workers normally enjoy a huge amount of trust, and can easily recommend good candidates from poor families.  

Fourthly, in developing trust, we should be very honest in our personal life.  If we avoid paying income tax, if we harm others,  if we indulge in unfair business practices, or try to cheat others in even the very small way, those whom we normally deem very close to us, will simply desert us.

This happens mainly because people always look for role models.  They look for people, whom they can refer to as "good and reliable" people, as we would normally have a good name in society, if we were to be good, law-abiding citizens.  Even the smallest diversion in terms of decline in such values, is enough to destroy trust, often for ever.

Fifthly, it is extremely important that we are frank and open. Promising the moon, or making loud statements but not delivering on any promise, particularly if it involves helping someone to find a job or help to  get married to some good person known to us, and the like, will harm our reputation for ever.  If we had only said that we would try our best, or give an answer after all effort, we would still be respected.  

Lastly, we cannot and should not try to undermine the importance of any other person, or adopt any fraud means to make others believe that we can be trusted.  If we do this, others will easily see through our game, and our reputation will be lost for ever.  

To be sure, no one will ever approach us for anything at any point in time.

Trust is something that can be developed over a long period of time.  However, consistency in both thoughts and deeds and result-oriented action is a big must.  If we can demonstrate that we can be really trusted, we would have implanted a firm idea in the mind of the other person, and this will happen if he or she is clearly able to observe our behavior consistently.

Trust often takes at least seven to ten years to develop.  Reliability is a cousin of trust, and would often be in-built in the former.  In fact, one cannot be trustful if he or she is not reliable.

There are any number of changes taking place in the society, and it is very much natural that we are also tempted to adopt short cuts to achieve success.  However, if we need to develop a wider cycle of influence, we have to do it and personally lead a very honest life.

To lead a honest life, even in today's times, is not at all impossible.  A firm "no" to shortcuts, in both the short and long-term can work like mantras and do us a world of good.

Trust is absolutely essential in human relationships.  It is very important in the family and in relationships with the wider society.  We all need to consistently work at developing trust, as a passion, as a big desire and as a way of life.  If we do so, we would have done ourselves a world of good, and also would have contributed to the society in some small way.   


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