5 things ppl say to Rakhi Sawant

 

* oyeee tujhe pappi kaun diya

 

* tumhara age kitna hai.... 45 kya...????

 

* tumhaare swayamvar tumne kya ladko ko paise diye the aane ke liye

 

* tum itna bakbak kyun karti ho..??????

 

* Zuban Pe Lagam Do

 

 

What you should do to PATAO your sexy Chemistry Sir.

1)Tell him that he acts as a base for your acidic solution and he neutralises you completely.

2)Ask him how chemistry,physics,thermodynamics and human beings are connected?

3)Tell him that Gold's atomic number should be 143 ?!?!

4)Tell him that every time you see him you have an exothermic reaction

5)Ask him "what concentration of alcohol would you like to have"?

 

 

 

5 things not to ask in internet cafe

 

1 aa virus file download nahi ho rai!

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2 woh wale sites ke naam bola na pls!

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3 bhaiya aapka internet username aur password bolna!

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4 (switch off the monitor) shout very loudly aa on nahi ho rai!

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5 ask how to get the address of your gf.

 

 

 

5 Things not to do in internet cafe

 

1.speak out the password of your internet banking very loud!

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2.Open tutorials how to make a bomb and start making it

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3.go to other cabin and ask them can we chat?

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4.Ask the person to connect web cam and then start taking pics of your body..

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5.Get the feel of playing games in PSP and start shouting..

 

 

 

Five reasons to become a bald headed person !!

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1) You want more wind on your heads' skin

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2) To unburden yourself from shampooing hair, even if its once in a year

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3) Wanna compete with Paresh rawal or Stone cold steve austin

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4) Just because girls are more attracted towards bald guys

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5) Last but not least, to donate your hair. After-all you believes in charity

 

 

5 things u have to follow when u give a gal lift on your bike

* alwayzz wear a helmet ( safety frm both police nd jaan pehchan waale )

 

* alwayzz drive the bike at 30-40 speed ( b steady nd slow...take ur time )

 

* drive karte waqt idhar udhar mat dekhna ( adjust ur mirrors so tat u can only see

her face )

 

* bike ka petrol ka tank full rakhna ( nahi toh bike leke paidal jaana padega )

 

* break kam marna bike ka ( dont follow this rule...disc break marna kabhi kabhi )

 

 

 

 

5 ways to spot difference between a DOG and a MAN

1) Dog pees with one leg up and is proud of his family jewel while man faces the wall to hide it

 

2) Dogs dont fight for the Remote.....

 

3)Dogs are more loyal than a Man and doesn't look at other bitches as long as the scooby snack is in your hand...

 

4)Dogs are not pushed outta room while Girls are changing clothes.....

 

5)Dogs like their ball and they grab it and hold onto it...

 

 

 

 

5 things girls should not do in public

 

1.Applying Make up.

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2.Wear a mini skirt and tell your frnds very loud this dress is too big for me.

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3.Discussing about the Balika Vadhu in public on your phone.

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4.Fighting with your bf/husband.

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5.Audible burps or farts

 

 

 

 

 

Five ways to get rid of heat !!

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1) Go for a trip/holiday to a hill station. Prefer NORTH POLE

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2) Kill someone and keep on denying that you the charges. Police will certainly provide you third degree torture which includes ICE treatment

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3) Desi style apnao. Gille ( wet ) towel ko Standing fan ke aage latkaao

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4) Bahut badboo maar rahe ho, naha ke aao, aur garmi bhagaoo

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5) Idea stolen from prehistoric cavemen. Nange ( naked ) ho jaao

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PS:- Take it seriously

 

 

 

 

5 steps to kill a mosquito...

 

* ek macchar ko pakdo

 

* usko kuch khilao pilao

 

* then usko gudgudi do...

 

* jab woh apna muh khole hasne ke liye...uske muh pe allout dal do

 

* then muh pe cellotape mar do...

 

 

 

 

five easy steps to become an emo wannabe

 

- Use all the kohl available in your house. Borrow some from your neighbor too. And then apply it to whatever you call as ‘eyes’

 

 

- Get a haircut that will hide your eyes,ears and nose completely.

 

 

- Write quotes,poems related to death, blood, darkness, sadness and post them everywhere. Orkut, facebook, twitter just everywhere!

 

 

- Your favourite hobby should be cutting wrists and talking about kiki

 

 

- Write things like rad, rawr,